(Source: itsxplacebo, via play-the-game)
I think it’s the only place where I can let off some steam with only one nosy ass person will snoop around.
I’m so tired of being sick, tired, depressed, sad, & alone. The feeling of being hopeless is trying to overcome me & only the power of God is helping me with that. The literal bruising of my body compared to the extensive blows to my head and heart create something fragile, hard as cement to those unknowing. I’m confused about the future of my educational career & the opportunities that I might miss because of the buried guilt and loneliness of another. Scared, scared is the bulk of it, simple fear, a human thing.
I have the plan, the ultimate plan, the plan that will help me, just have to accomplish it, and try to learn the means to do so. I’ve alway had the means, it’s like obtaining it.
I’m rambling, but it’s what I need right now.
I actually need a hard ass hug, & somebody telling me that I can do it, I need it really bad. I haven’t had one of those in years, a little of outside motivation because the amount inside me dwindles with obstacles & it shows with my sins.
Another things that has killed me is the constant abuse that my character has taken. Knowing the basics of my background is not a means to attack me on the current, bitch you HAVE NO IDEA. Nobody does, not even my other half. Not a single person with the same bloodline knows. I try & try & try to be the best type of person that I know how to be & it will never be enough for some people and I’m okay with that, but it’s still a hard thing to swallow.
As I continue swallowing the pills that are necessary to overcome an illness that hasn’t helped my emotional well-being in anyway I pray that things look up, in every way.
Stay Beautiful.
XD it’s true
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